We find love in hopeless places. We’re the digital age, where you can even shop a meal on an app, so, why not a boy- or girlfriend? Unfortunately, many people don’t know the etiquette of these apps.
Guys who try to hit it off on the world wide web should know a couple of things before they wonder why they can’t get any girls. Probably some girls too, but I don’t have that experience. There are do’s and there are don’ts. And if you follow my tips, you’ll hit it off way sooner.
1. Don’t post bro pictures. Just don’t. Girls will wonder who you are. The one on the left? The cutie in the back? Or the unshaved fatty on the right? She might be disappointed if she swipes right on you and discovers that, indeed you are the unshaved fatty she was afraid of. #swipeleft
2. Don’t post kids pictures. Unless you’re 40 and it’s obvious you’re at the age of having kids. Even if your kids are cute, just don’t. No single 25-year-old is excited to date a daddy. #swipeleft
3. Have a profile picture, or two! I don’t get guys who think it’s possible to hit it off without a picture. Who do you think is going to like a ghost profile? Nothing cute about this *ish. It’s creepy! #swipeleft
4. Are you really single? Guys who are on Tinder with a profile picture with their girlfriend, What the FFF is wrong with you? Are you looking for a threesome? #swipeleft
5. Boyfriend picture: Yes, I did bump into the profile of a guy whose profile picture was a very intimate picture of himself with his boyfriend. Not only did that person post a boyfriend pic, he made sure we’re aware of his sexual orientation. #doubleswipeleft
6. INSTAstalking: The reason why a girl doesn’t swipe right, it’s because she isn’t into you right of the bet. Why on earth would you think, instastalking her is gonna make her change her mind? People add Instagram and Spotify just so you could get to know her better ONCE you’ve matched! Not to stalk her when you haven’t matched!
Now you’ve got my cast iron tips and trips, I hope you’ll hit it off with the girls (or boys?). Cheers to you! And don’t forget to remain polite and don’t say weird stuff, but that’s for another time!
L’Chaim, to life!
Love, Sarah K.