Singlehood IIII: Freakshow of Stalkers!

Column Singlehood - Banner

2014 went by and somehow wanted to make friends in my class, and so I did. I became friends with Zoë and Ines. By that time in 2015, I was still very much single. I wanted to retire from the department of Singlehood, but things started to change a bit in that department.

March 2015, last week of school before Spring break. My girls and I decide to have cocktails at a student bar in the basement of our faculty. Having fun with a couple of girls was refreshing. I haven’t done that in a long time and made me nostalgic of the good old days, when I would have drinks with one of my girlfriends in a famous cocktail bar called Absithbar/Appelmans, and we would judge the guys in the bar, being flirty with these guys, etc. It made me think that I desperately needed to get rid of my stubborn and faithful job of mine, at the department of Singlehood. 

Not too long before that, on a Saturday afternoon, while working out at the gym with my sister, a guy comes up to me. He isn’t good looking, has no hair, around 30 years old, small and has a heavy accent when speaking Dutch, asks me if the bottle of water on the other elliptical is mine. Like, I would take a whole elliptical next to me, just to put my water bottle on it, because I do not have any space on my elliptical to put my bottle, who by the way, WAS ON my machine and it was very visible. Logical thinking wasn’t his biggest strength. I told him that it wasn’t mine, as I moved that same bottle from the elliptical my sister wanted to use, on the one next to me. Anyway, the guy puts the bottle on the floor next to the elliptical and starts to work out. After 5 minutes, he stops, goes on a treadmill, doesn’t stop looking at me, like a big creep, stops his workout on the treadmill to come back to the elliptical next to me, to ask me: ‘Is this bottle of water laying on the floor yours?’ ARE YOU FREAKISHLY KIDDIN’ ME????? ARE YOU FO’ REALZ? I hold myself from screaming and told him politely: ‘Once more, it isn’t mine!’ I knew at that very moment, I had my very first stalker of the year 2015, in front of me. This situation nerve wrecked my sister. She cannot handle annoying guys, certainly not the ones from the gym. We continued our workout, went straight ahead on strength exercises and somehow the guy was always somewhere near us, watching us. He’d even find an excuse to talk to me, as I dropped my phone and he told me I should buy a case to protect my phone. Like, I know shit about phones and cases, sure! I answered with a very short answer, but he’d still continue talking to me. My sister was on the verge of exploding, and I was too. He suddenly asks me: ‘Can we talk?’ I told him I’d rather not as he can see I was working out with my sister. He answered with: ‘I could try, you know.’ I really, really, wanted to get rid of this dude and my prayers were answered as I saw him talking to another girl, not so long after he was talking to me. STALKER, BAD STALKER, DESPERATE STALKER, BOOHOO! 

The next few days, he kept on looking at me, trying to get with other girls but didn’t talk to me, THANK GOD! Somewhat around the same time, once more at the gym, I was working out on the treadmill and suddenly a guy comes in, looks at me, I looked at him and the way he looked at me, seemed like he had found the love of his life! HAHA! He looks much older than me, he wasn’t my style AT ALL, but somehow, I liked the fact that he had given me a couple of seconds of attention. He looked very shy as he looked away, a couple of seconds after I had looked back. That happened every single day we came across each other at the gym. 

I called him « Mister Stalker » even though he didn’t stalk me at all, but I didn’t know his name, and as the way he looked at me came across as « stalkerish », I called him like that. I would tell the girls in my class each week about what happened with Mister Stalker and they would laugh, as it was pretty funny to have an update on such a situation. A couple of weeks after I ‘met’ him for the first time, nothing had happened yet. I was running on the treadmill when I saw him walking by the gym. He came in, I was on the cool down mode and no other treadmill was free at that point. He saw me slowing down and came up to me and asked: « Finished? » I nod that I was finished and gave him the treadmill. At that point, I did not realize he didn’t speak Dutch and that his English was pretty basic. I was curious to know where he came from… 

Each week I am going to tell you a piece of my singlehood story and last relationship, that will lead us to where I am today. If you are interested in knowing more, stay tuned on my blog, because I will be posting an article each week to tell you more about it. I will not divulge any real names in it, if one day I use a name, I will make sure to change the name to another one, except if that person is okay with being named. Obviously, I am not sharing any specific details about my ex or any involved men. We’ll call him Mister Small Penis.

Until Next Time, 

Love | Sarah K.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *